Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Sajak dari seorang pencinta Aqsa!

Maafkan aku.. saudaraku..
Ketika kau susah, aku tiada di sisimu..
Ketika kau kebuntuan, aku tiada memberi cadangan..
Ketika kau terluka, aku tidak mampu merawatnya..
Ketika kau bersedih, aku tidak mampu menghapusnya..

Maafkan aku..
Kerana aku tidak mampu hentikannya..
Kerana aku tidak mampu menghalangnya..
Kerana aku tidak mampu melawannya..
Kerana aku tidak mampu menghapus segala derita..

Percayalah saudaraku..
Walau kita tidak pernah bersua..
Walau kita tidak pernah berbicara..
Doaku tidak pernah putus untukmu..
Kasihku masih kekal milikmu..

Percayalah saudaraku..
Tuhan masih bersamamu..
Ini cuma dugaan untuk imanmu..
Kuatkanlah semangatmu..
Cekalkanlah hatimu..

Walau kau hilang anakmu..
Jangan kau lupa Tuhan yang satu..
Janji Tuhan itu pasti untukmu..
Kerana Syurga itu tempat terbaik untuk bayimu..

Al-Fatihah :'(


Sunday, 4 November 2012

Di bawah langit-Mu

Di bawah langit-Mu bersujud semua
Memuji memuja asma-Mu
Dan bertasbih semua makhluk-Mu tunduk
Berharap Cinta dan Kasih-Mu

Dan bertasbih semua makhluk-Mu tunduk
Berharap Cinta dan Kasih-Mu

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Am I pushing the limit?

While watching this talk by Joshua Evans, something struck me when he told about how his grandmother told him  '... and you're pushing the limit....God has something for you, and He want you to get it, but you're pushing it'.

I start to ponder and remember a thing that I heard in one of Mufti Ismail Menk speech. He was speaking about the lessons we can learn from the story of Nuh@Noah 'Alaihis Salaam where Allah give us signs and reminders in a definite number of times or to a certain time point. We have all the chances of repentance and to be forgiven by His grace until we reach that limit. This make me think of how much signs and reminders have we been neglecting and each time we turned away our heart hardens and our spirituality faints. It is not in which religion we were born that matters, but in what state we will die as. And i pray that myself and my parents, my whole families, all my friends, all my teachers and all my neighbor will die as a true Muslim, the 'one who submits to God'.

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

like Tea

Tea after tea
Warm as fine China silk
But colder is better
Turn bitter face bitter

Dive floating vest dive
Go deeper and deeper
Swim by dolphin or mermaid
To your home mr.Hlovate

Thick as South China Sea
Black as harsh Borneo coal
Regrets.... like tea
Brew bitter and cold

- Adapted from Dawud Wharnsby

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

A poem

I love being a Traveler
Wandering in places I'm not familiar.
like a foreigner,
awe by the thing I discovered
expanding my horizons farther.
And to be A foreigner of this world is what I want to be,
because its not here where Im going to stay forever..

- bashir salleh (Oct 12')

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Question to myself

“Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice to go on. But I'm afraid He would ask me the same question.”Anonymous

Monday, 23 April 2012

Out Seeing The Fields

Briskly, rising to the sky
Cold, clouds rushing past
Flying, hopes to never land
Light. Streatching out my hand

Out seeing the fields
What is a dream and
can you tell me what is real?
Everyone else is home in bed
and I’m out here lost in my own head
out seeing the fields

Freeze, crystal on the bridge
Trees. Frozen diamond leaves
Ice, stiffening the wheat
Wind, underneath my feet

Out seeing the fields
What is a dream and
can you tell me what is real?
Everyone else is home in bed
and I’m out here lost in my own head
out seeing the fields

I only feel close to you when I’m under open sky
I only feel guided when I’m free to question why
Only when I smell the earth upon my face
will I ever be free to fly from this place

Out seeing the fields
Leaving the place I thought was home before
Picking up my shoes and I’m flying out the door
Can’t seem to walk to go back there anymore
So I’m out seeing the fields

Morning, wings against the ledge
Frost trees painted on the glass
Snow, covering the streets
Home, warm beneath my sheets

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Who are you?

   Finding the purpose of our existence is as important as being exist it self, otherwise our life is neither much more meaningful nor valuable than this tiny being..

I am a traveler seeking the Truth, a human searching for the meaning of humanity, and a citizen seeking dignity, freedom, stability and welfare under the shade of Islam. I am a free man who is aware of the purpose of his existence and calls, truly, my prayer and my sacrifice, my life and my death, are all for Allah, the Cherisher of the worlds; He has no partner. This I am commanded and I am among those who submit to His Will. This is who I am. Who are you? 

- Hassan al-Banna

Sunday, 15 April 2012

will you hate me?

by Dawud Wharnsby with actual title of the truth that lies inside, credit to hsh for the video

Friday, 13 April 2012


    Its 2 a.m. and I can't sleep. The Divine display struck right to the heart, melting whats inside. Oh Allah, save me, my family, friend, teacher, and neighbor on that Day. The Day of Noise and Clamor.

aku susah tidur, orang ngomong, anjing gong-gong, dunia jauh mengabur - chairil anwar 

Spiritual Being

science can really be more subjective than art
that is when we can truly understand that the only constant in life is change
and that it has never been a mechanical world indeed, but a biological one
and we are far from merely a living machine, instead a complex spiritual being.

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

>8.6 earthquake near Aceh

SubhanAllah, a massive 8.6~8.9 earthquake near Aceh with tremor felt here in Penang.. I pray for the safety and mercy of Allah be upon the people in affected areas. Just as I wrote this entry, I can feel the floor is shaking;

'Ya Allah, berikanlah keselamatan dan kesabaran di atas hamba-hambamu yang engkau timpakan malapetaka ini, jadikanlah ia peringatan bagi yang terselamat dan sebagai afiat bagi yang menjadi mangsa, Amin'

I have never been to Aceh but it is the sole place outside Malaysia where I feel strongly attached to. I met brother Faisal Abdurrahman back in 2007 when I was an undergraduate in Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia. He moved to Malaysia after the Tsunami hit Aceh in 2004 and continue his Msc and Phd in UKM while making huge effort in bringing poor and orphan kids from Aceh to live and study in Malaysia. He is also an active daie' in comparative religion, and writer of several books on this topic. I was introduce to comparative religion study by him, and was invited to sponsor some of the expenses needed by the kids that he brought here. Some of them study to become Hafiz in several religious school and one of them has successfully graduated from UKM's Faculty of Islamic Study. Alhamdulillah, this achievement was fulfilled by brother Faisal's hard work and the supports given by kind hearted donor with Allah's permission. The kids have faced a lot of difficulty since the first time they arrived here even to the extent of being cheated and used by others as labor. Its a hard life for them back in Aceh and even in Malaysia, but we can help to relieve their burden simply by spending some of our excess income that Allah has lent us. May Allah mercy and Rasulullah's love be upon the provider and the one being provided, Amin..

bersama anak-anak miskin dan yatim Aceh, 2011
(NOTE: for further information and to make a donation, go here)

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Happy Birthday Mak :D

Happy Birthday Mom... I hope you had a great time celebrating your birthday in Melbourne.. I really love you and sorry I could not be there with you. I had promised myself that I will never make my a step to overseas except to continue my study. That promise was made so I will study harder to achieve my ambition, and it is to get a 'Dr.' title for you mom. I know you have always wanted for one of your child to become a medical doctor and even though I have missed that chance, I pray for success in becoming a doctor of philosophy. It has been hard so far, but I will make your dream come true one day, by hook or by crook. InsyaAllah..

She's my world, my everything.. Give Your love and blessing to her ya Allah, Amin..

Friday, 23 March 2012


If i have to describe sincerity, i would say...

peace is what you feel inside, and silence is what you show outside.

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Happy Birthday Zaujah :D

Happy Birthday my dear zaujah, it has been a wonderful 6 month and I pray that Allah will continually bless our marriage and make us a happy romantic couple for the rest of our lives and to the hereafter, Amin.. I'm eager to celebrate your birthday this coming saturday as this is the first time we'll celebrate it as couple, or should I say triple :p

Tomorrow will also be important for our baby since its his/her second time for scanning, if Allah permit than we can start to argue on what name he/she should have, I'd love the name Dhia Muslimah for a girl though, hehe.. 

"Ya Allah, kurniakanlah anak kami kesempurnaan Iman, kecantikan akhlak, kesucian hati, dan kesihatan jasad yang menjadi penyejuk mata dan hati kami, Amin"

Oppss, this post should be about your birthday, hee, so this is my prayer to you too

"Ya Allah, jadikanlah isteriku seorang isteri, anak dan ibu yang solehah, jadikanlah dia penyejuk mata dan hatiku didunia dan sebagai bidadari terindah di akhirat kelak. Redhailah dirinya dan kurniakanlah baginya keredhaanku serta kedua ibu bapaku, Amin"

I'm not a perfect husband but I pray that Allah will guide and give me strength to be so.. thankyou for all your love and support.. 

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Motherly love

Acer have already become a pilot, which was his childhood dream. Now at the age of 21 my mother bought him a toy airplane, as with all my other siblings receive their own personnel toy.

And the reason she did this was; when we were small, she don't have enough money to buy toys and only until we have grown up that she can afford to do this. I still remember one day during my primary school in S.R.K. Dato' Traoh, she bought a secondhand double-decker bus miniature with some of the parts were fixed with cellophane tape as it was already broken. Come to think about that, it must have been hurt for her back then when as a mother, this is the best she can do for her child. And her present action clearly unveil this scars. The most important gift I wish for my mother, is for her to be granted the most beautiful Paradise by His mercy. Hear my prayer oh the Most Gracious, Most Merciful... Amin.

"Jaik ati mak ngenang ktk org, agik itok mak sampe kinek tok.. marek masa ktk org gik kecik, mak sekda duit nak beli mainan ke ktk org.." - Mak

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Take as much as you need

"You bury your treasure Where it can't be found, But your love is like a secret That's been passed around" 

Saturday, 10 March 2012

Why People Leave Each Other?

When I was 17 years old, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sitting inside a masjid and a little girl walked up to ask me a question. She asked me: “Why do people have to leave each other?” The question was a personal one, but it seemed clear to me why the question was chosen for me.
I was one to get attached.
Ever since I was a child, this temperament was clear. While other children in preschool could easily recover once their parents left, I could not. My tears, once set in motion, did not stop easily. As I grew up, I learned to become attached to everything around me. From the time I was in first grade, I needed a best friend. As I got older, any fall-out with a friend shattered me. I couldn’t let go of anything.
People, places, events, photographs, moments—even outcomes became objects of strong attachment. If things didn’t work out the way I wanted or imagined they should, I was devastated. And disappointment for me wasn’t an ordinary emotion. It was catastrophic. Once let down, I never fully recovered. I could never forget, and the break never mended. Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fit again.
But the problem wasn’t with the vase. Or even that the vases kept breaking. The problem was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables. Through my attachments, I was dependent on my relationships to fulfill my needs. I allowed those relationships to define my happiness or my sadness, my fulfillment or my emptiness, my security, and even my self-worth. And so, like the vase placed where it will inevitably fall, through those dependencies I set myself up for disappointment. I set myself up to be broken. And that’s exactly what I found: one disappointment, one break after another.
But the people who broke me were not to blame any more than gravity can be blamed for breaking the vase. We can’t blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us.
Our weight was only meant to be carried by God. We are told in the Quran: “…whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And God hears and knows all things.” (Qur’an 2: 256)
There is a crucial lesson in this verse: that there is only one handhold that never breaks. There is only one place where we can lay our dependencies. There is only one relationship that should define our self-worth and only one source from which to seek our ultimate happiness, fulfillment, and security. That place is God.
But this world is all about seeking those things everywhere else. Some of us seek it in our careers, some seek it in wealth, some in status. Some, like me, seek it in our relationships. In her book, Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert describes her own quest for happiness. She describes moving in and out of relationships, and even traveling the globe in search of this fulfillment. She seeks that fulfillment—unsuccessfully—in her relationships, in meditation, even in food.
And that’s exactly where I spent much of my own life: seeking a way to fill my inner void. So it was no wonder that the little girl in my dream asked me this question. It was a question about loss, about disappointment. It was a question about being let down. A question about seeking something and coming back empty handed. It was about what happens when you try to dig in concrete with your bare hands: not only do you come back with nothing—you break your fingers in the process. And I learned this not by reading it, not by hearing it from a wise sage. I learned it by trying it again, and again, and again.
And so, the little girl’s question was essentially my own question…being asked to myself.
Ultimately, the question was about the nature of the dunya as a place of fleeting moments and temporary attachments. As a place where people are with you today, and leave or die tomorrow. But this reality hurts our very being because it goes against our nature. We, as humans, are made to seek, love, and strive for what is perfect and what is permanent. We are made to seek what’s eternal. We seek this because we were not made for this life. Our first and true home was Paradise: a land that is both perfect and eternal. So the yearning for that type of life is a part of our being. The problem is that we try to find that here. And so we create ageless creams and cosmetic surgery in a desperate attempt to hold on—in an attempt to mold this world into what it is not, and will never be.
And that’s why if we live in dunya with our hearts, it breaks us. That’s why this dunya hurts. It is because the definition of dunya, as something temporary and imperfect, goes against everything we are made to yearn for. Allah put a yearning in us that can only be fulfilled by what is eternal and perfect. By trying to find fulfillment in what is fleeting, we are running after a hologram…a mirage. We are digging into concrete with our bare hands. Seeking to turn what is by its very nature temporary into something eternal is like trying to extract from fire, water. You just get burned. Only when we stop putting our hopes in dunya, only when we stop trying to make the dunya into what it is not—and was never meant to be (jannah)—will this life finally stop breaking our hearts.
We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is what warns us to remove our hand from the fire, emotional pain warns us that we need to make an internal change. That we need to detach. Pain is a form of forced detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again, the more dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it.
And pain is a pointer to our attachments. That which makes us cry, that which causes us most pain is where our false attachments lie. And it is those things which we are attached to as we should only be attached to Allah which become barriers on our path to God. But the pain itself is what makes the false attachment evident. The pain creates a condition in our life that we seek to change, and if there is anything about our condition that we don’t like, there is a divine formula to change it. God says: “Verily never will God change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.” (Qur’an, 13:11)
After years of falling into the same pattern of disappointments and heartbreak, I finally began to realize something profound. I had always thought that love of dunya meant being attached to material things. And I was not attached to material things. I was attached to people. I was attached to moments. I was attached to emotions. So I thought that the love of dunya just did not apply to me. What I didn’t realize was that people, moments, emotions are all a part of dunya. What I didn’t realize is that all the pain I had experienced in life was due to one thing, and one thing only: love of dunya.
As soon as I began to have that realization, a veil was lifted from my eyes. I started to see what my problem was. I was expecting this life to be what it is not, and was never meant to be: perfect. And being the idealist that I am, I was struggling with every cell in my body to make it so. It had to be perfect. And I would not stop until it was. I gave my blood, sweat, and tears to this endeavor: making the dunya into jannah. This meant expecting people around me to be perfect. Expecting my relationships to be perfect. Expecting so much from those around me and from this life. Expectations. Expectations. Expectations. And if there is one recipe for unhappiness it is that: expectations. But herein lay my fatal mistake. My mistake was not in having expectations; as humans, we should never lose hope. The problem was in *where* I was placing those expectations and that hope. At the end of the day, my hope and expectations were not being placed in God. My hope and expectations were in people, relationships, means. Ultimately, my hope was in this dunya rather than Allah.
And so I came to realize a very deep Truth. An ayah began to cross my mind. It was an ayah I had heard before, but for the first time I realized that it was actually describing me: “Those who rest not their hope on their meeting with Us, but are pleased and satisfied with the life of the present, and those who heed not Our Signs.” (Qur’an, 10:7)
By thinking that I can have everything here, my hope was not in my meeting with God. My hope was in dunya. But what does it mean to place your hope in dunya? How can this be avoided? It means when you have friends, don’t expect your friends to fill your emptiness. When you get married, don’t expect your spouse to fulfill your every need. When you’re an activist, don’t put your hope in the results. When you’re in trouble don’t depend on yourself. Don’t depend on people. Depend on God.
Seek the help of people—but realize that it is not the people (or even your own self) that can save you. Only Allah can do these things. The people are only tools, a means used by God. But they are not the source of help, aid, or salvation of any kind. Only God is. The people cannot even create the wing of a fly (22:73). And so, even while you interact with people externally, turn your heart towards God. Face Him alone, as Prophet Ibrahim (as) said so beautifully: “For me, I have set my face, firmly and truly, towards Him Who created the heavens and the earth, and never shall I give partners to Allah.” (Qur’an, 6:79)
But how does Prophet Ibrahim (as) describe his journey to that point? He studies the moon, the sun and the stars and realizes that they are not perfect. They set. They let us down.
So Prophet Ibrahim (as) was thereby led to face Allah alone. Like him, we need to put our full hope, trust, and dependency on God. And God alone. And if we do that, we will learn what it means to finally find peace and stability of heart. Only then will the roller coaster that once defined our lives finally come to an end. That is because if our inner state is dependent on something that is by definition inconstant, that inner state will also be inconstant. If our inner state is dependent on something changing and temporary, that inner state will be in a constant state of instability, agitation, and unrest. This means that one moment we’re happy, but as soon as that which our happiness depended upon changes, our happiness also changes. And we become sad. We remain always swinging from one extreme to another and not realizing why.
We experience this emotional roller coaster because we can never find stability and lasting peace until our attachment and dependency is on what is stable and lasting. How can we hope to find constancy if what we hold on to is inconstant and perishing? In the statement of Abu Bakr is a deep illustration of this truth. After the Prophet Muhammad ? died, the people went into shock and could not handle the news. But although no one loved the Prophet ? like Abu Bakr, Abu Bakr understood well the only place where one’s dependency should lie. He said: “If you worshipped Muhammad, know that Muhammad is dead. But if you worshipped Allah, know that Allah never dies.”
To attain that state, don’t let your source of fulfillment be anything other than your relationship with God. Don’t let your definition of success, failure, or self-worth be anything other than your position with Him (Qur’an, 49:13). And if you do this, you become unbreakable, because your handhold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will never become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes.
Looking back at the dream I had when I was 17, I wonder if that little girl was me. I wonder this because the answer I gave her was a lesson I would need to spend the next painful years of my life learning. My answer to her question of why people have to leave each other was: “because this life isn’t perfect; for if it was, what would the next be called?”

Friday, 9 March 2012


di tengah malam pekat,
di hujung atap berkarat,
di penjuru paling tajam,
ada titik air lembut,
tergantung rapuh,
menunggu jatuh

- by Bahruddin Bekri 

Monday, 5 March 2012

little secret

What was in the shade..

turn out surprisingly different,

behind the mesmerizing beauty..

lay the treasures little secret,

a secret of nature’s creation,

that make me pondered..

and looked at myself in different perspective,

made me realized this place is carefully arranged..

and everything is created in pairs,

in need of one another..

beautifies one another,

thus along with nature i say “all praise be to God”.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

"='O :)

I don't have the best of everything, but I do have everything... I should be grateful more than I ever have..

baby at the age of 8-10 week

my baby, in around half a year, you'll be born out from your mother's womb in to this world insyAllah.. and there's nothing that I could ever wanted more as a father than for you to become a faithful Muslim, who know himself and his Creator, lover of the ones who He has loved, and among the resident of His highest Jannah.. 

in every heart, there's a spiritual will to find their Creator, it's depend on them weather to nurtures the spirituality or kills it.. and only by fulfilling this spiritual part that you will ever find peace in your heart. Do remember that the world will try to lure you on the opposite direction, so be aware of the deceiver, he is your enemy so treat him like an enemy.

Hold fast to the word of Allah, and the sunnah of the prophet so that you may be rightly guided. 
I always pray for you to become a hafiz/hafizah one day, who understand His word better than I ever have.

When you are on a crossroad, follow the safest path which is the middle, and beware of both extreme, for you can see when a tree grow in an open field, it will grow-up straight; but a tree which grow in a cave, will grow slandering only to the side where the light penetrates. 

Be humble in what ever you do, speak the truth even if its hurt, be patient in the worst of trials, be grateful for what ever you have, be a gentle and a loving person, especially to the closest relative, orphanage and people in need. Try your best to follow the character of the beloved prophet Muhammad S.A.W. In him is the best example for you to follow, so know him better than I ever have.

Some of my word, you might only understand at a certain point in your life, but remember this, be sincere in your journey to understand it all. 

me and your lovely mom is eager to have you around :)  <3  "='O

"Ya Allah, kurniakanlah anak kami Akidah yang sempurna, Iman yang sempurna, Akhlak yang sempurna, dan Jasad yang sempurna.. dan tiupkanlah rohnya dari kalangan ahli syurga dan kekasihMu.. Amin Ya Rabbal'Alamin"

Saturday, 4 February 2012

With Love

O Allah! Bestow blessings and peace on Sayyidina Muhammad, the beloved of the Beneficent, and the most precious in all creation 
who is present with whoever sends blessings on him in every age and place, and on his family and companions and good followers.

Lets spend our time to read, learn and understand the life journey of our beloved Prophet Muhammad Ibn Abdullah, SallAllahu 'alaihi wasallam. May we all be included among those who love him more than our own families and ourselves, and will be rewarded with love from him and his intercession in the Day of Judgement. 

If there is a creation to be love and being loved by, than nothing is better than Muhammad SallAllahu 'Alaihi wasallam, the seal of the prophets, the prince of both worlds, the messenger to every nation, the best of all creation... 

- with love,